While seated in the Children's Nook
      I'll read from almost any book;
      Recite the words and give a smile
      And feel rewarded all the while.

            But there is one I dare not touch.
            It causes trembling in my throat
            And day by day I've come to loathe
            This book which once I loved to quote.

I shall not read Green Eggs & Ham-
That tale of Mr. Sam I Am.
I'll never give another look
To paperback or hardbound book.

      I'm burned out on that book, you see
      For to each child it brings such glee.
      They've asked me for it night and day
      They've begged for it in every way.

            So many kids have asked to hear it,
            Day by day and week by week,
            I simply can no longer bear it
            Just the title makes me shriek.

Dear Mayor Sir, I'll tell you now
There is no way - no form - no how
This little town can get me near
That tale which causes me such fear.

      I will not read it one more time.
      I care not, Sir, what this job pays
      I'm sick of that infernal rhyme.
      I've read it one too many ways.

            I've read it to my Daughter Jan;
            I've read it to my Nephew Stan;
            I've read it to my son Jerome
            While on vacation and at home.

I've read it in my easy chair
Dressed only in my underwear.
Many mornings I've stopped shaving
Just to satisfy their craving.

      They've asked me for it every morning,
      Afternoon and evening too,
      While at dinner, without warning
      In the Ball Park, at the Zoo.

            I've read it to the Cub Scouts and
            The South Side Grade School Marching Band.
            Performed for church groups far and wide
            So many times I've almost cried.

I've nudged them out the door and then
They turn and come right back again.
I've watched them get down on their knees
And beg to hear it "Once more ... Please"

      It is a classic. That is true.
      It makes imaginations flitter,
      But there is nothing you can do
      For I will never reconsider,

            Yes, I see my contract there,
            But at this point I do not care.
            So fire me Sir, if that's your plan,
            But I shall not read Green Eggs & Ham.