The Lord's Prayer -- Politically Correct

Kevin M. Carr

Kevin, of Columbus, Ohio, wears many hats. He is especially funny when he wears tham all at the same time. Editor and copywriter by day and poltergeist by night, he writes the column, Surreal World for PIrate Writings Magazine. He is currently gathering investors for an independent film venture which he will produce and direct.
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Our parental unit or legal guardian (single, married, divorced, or participant in an alternate lifestyle choice), who resides in a place different from (but not necessarily morally better than) our current spiritual plane, may your name be honored, unless it is an Anglicized version of an ethnically-diverse surname changed at Ellis Island to avoid persecution and racial slurs from the angry white males of this country.

Your government for the people each according to his or her needs and abilities come, your counseling intervention strategies be done, on Gaia as it is in the place different from(but not necessarily morally better than(our current spiritual plane.

Give us this day our daily nutritional requirements of vegetarian, low-fat, low-salt, low cholesterol, organically grown foods (after, of course, a portion of which has been removed to provide for the NEA, the Department of Education, and the Department of Health and Human Services), and forgive us our no-interest loans guaranteed by the federal government as we forgive the greedy, money-grubbing businessmen who steal from the poor and take food from the mouths of children.

Lead us not into temptation, but realize that if we falter, it is not our fault but a predisposed genetic condition beyond our control or a result of the dysfunctional relationship we had with our parents, but deliver us from the acts judged to be wrong by the moral authority of the day, even though we would see these acts as perfectly acceptable from a morally-relative viewpoint if we only took time to study and understand other cultures.

For thine is the commune, the cooperation, and the mutual affirmation until something better comes along.