Case in point, this article. It's due in a couple days and I thought it'd be nice to have it done early for a change, instead of either writing like a madwoman or begging my editor for an extension. The toddler is asleep in his chair in front of "Shrek" (why not, we've seen it so many times I get drowsy). The laundry is in the washer and the house looks...well, not clean but not a fire hazard either. I'm hiding in the basement with my AlphaSmart word processor and a Diet Pepsi, ready to go. So what happens? The baby keeps waking up. I have to do wind sprints up the stairs and to the other end of the house to put his pacifier back in, change his diaper, etc. He's the one who's really psychic. Tyler knows when Mommy is having that dream again, the one where Ricky Martin is whisking me off to live on a tropical island, and he starts bawling at the top of his lungs. When I drag my still sleeping self into his room, he'll smile and coo. He didn't need anything, he just wanted to make sure I wasn't having fun without him! Where is he when I have that nightmare about Steve from "Blues Clues" hitting on me?

Big brother Logan isn't much better. He knows when I crack open a new can of Diet and toddles into the kitchen just as I'm about to take a much-needed swig, which means I have to hide it in the sink or he'll demand his share (which is the entire can). He also somehow knows when either Bud or I are feeling "amorous" and those are the nights Mr. Logan won't go to bed until 10 pm. When you know you'll be up at least once during the night, and up for the day at 6:30, nothing happens after 10.

It's even worse when they gang up on me. Yesterday was a great day at the library - the writing book I ordered on interlibrary loan came in and I got my hands on my first Harry Potter book! I hadn't had a real book to read in ages and here I was with two of them. felt rich. I barely got a chance to look at either of them because both kids went into overdrive. Tyler started fussing and no amount of changing, burping, playing or feeding would appease him. I put him in his crib. He started screaming the minute the door closed. Meanwhile, Logan demanded to watch "Space Jam." Fine, something to keep him busy while I tried to calm Tyler. I started the movie and got to the kids' room and that was when Logan demanded to watch "Shrek". I put in "Shrek." He wanted "Space Jam" again. Meanwhile, Tyler was sounding more and more like an air raid siren. It's a good thing a door-to-door salesperson didn't show up right then or I would have tried to trade them for new windows and siding.

The bad thing is that this psychic ability won't last. Give them a few years and they won't know where they left their shoes, their jackets or the dog. They'll forget all about Show & Tell until 30 seconds before we have to leave for school and then they'll want to take my latest manuscript, which won't be finished because they wouldn't let me sit at the computer in peace.

I don't know why they do this. It's not like I wait until they're asleep and play with their cars and crayons. What Mommy considers fun isn't what little boys consider fun. I like to curl up with a book or cross-stitch. I like to watch CNN while working on a column. Does that sound like a good time for a kid? Maybe they think that if I don't do what they like to do, I won't have any fun. It's a cute theory but it's not helping me get anything done. Speaking of done, this column is almost done and the kids are still asleep! I got to finish a whole can of Diet in one sitting! You know what this means - Mommy won't be getting any sleep tonight.